A sexuality training and a wedding

What better way to delve into Muslim culture than to participate in the first ever sexuality training held in Sudan and then attend a wedding!

I’m learning quickly that Salmmah is very unique, an oasis of feminist dialogue and action in a sea of restrictions and oppression of women, and a forerunner in tackling issues, such as women's equality and sexuality, in Sudan. Pramada Menon, Co-Director of Crea (Pramada is also a friend and grantee of Kathy Sreedhar’s, a Free the Slaves board member, so we got to gossip about Indian activists in the anti-slavery and women's movements who we both knew – SMALL WORLD!) came from Delhi to lead the three day workshop which concluded today. I cannot get into details publicly, but the workshop was enlightening in many respects, especially when comparing responses of older Sudanese men and women who grew up in an English dominated society with the responses of young adults who have grown up under sharia (Islamic law). It was wonderful to hear women, young and old, saying at the conclusion of today's session that this training was the first time they ever discussed these issues publicly and they felt we "broke the silence" in Sudan.

Friday’s are a day of rest in Sudan and the only day that the government closes. Because of this, Thursday and Friday evenings are popular wedding times. I spent Friday cleaning up from the sand storm and resting, and then I walked over to Ozone (check out the Economist article), the popular café for internationals where I listened to Kenny G while sipping a caramel Macchiato. Oddly enough, I’ve never had a macchiato before, so I figured why not try one in Khartoum!

Friday night I attended my Salmmah colleague’s sister’s wedding with others from the center. Fahima said she would pick me up at 8:45 PM and she arrived "promptly" on "Sudanese time" at 10:05 PM. The wedding started at 9:30, but we still managed to get a table right up front, and let me tell you - it was quite a production! The wedding was held at the Navy Club, right on the Nile, and eight huge floodlights lit up a large outdoor space filled with tables, a raised dance floor, and at the head of the dance floor, a platform draped in pink for the bride and groom. (Think Steel Magnolias where Sally Field says “that chapel looks like it’s been hosed down in Pepto Bismol” pink. And tons of equally bright pink flowers, too.) The women dress to the hilt for weddings, while men wear trousers and a shirt. I have never seen so many beautifully decorated scarves, or taraf, in my life. Ranges of colorful, shimmering, silk speckled with tons of sequins, heels adorned in sequins, gold bracelets, glittery earrings - the whole deal. We danced and ate and drank orange and lime sodas (no alcohol is allowed in Sudan... publicly, that is) while the bride and groom watched from their pink platform. A video camera captured the couple's every twitch and projected their image on huge video screens set up around the platform for all to watch. At 11:15 the bride and groom rose to join in the last dance of the evening (government rule that you cannot play music after 11:30). The bride's dress had at least a 10 foot train which her attendants spread out as she and the groom walked onto the dance floor. I cannot imagine wearing that much fabric in this heat! At 11:30 the music shut down and all the guests left, leaving the families of the bride and groom to see them off in their car decorated in ribbon, streamers, and bows.